Ah, the new year. A fresh start. A new page. A time to reflect and set new intentions.
I think I can speak for most of us when I say the new year brings motivation. And especially after a year like 2020, I think we are all strongly craving a fresh and brighter year.
2020 has brought challenges. Challenges I never would have imagined I would be faced with. I was pushed to the max to manage my fears and emotions, and most importantly acknowledge the things I could control and accept the things I could not. Each year before 2020 had presented challenges as well, but I think what made this past year special was the intensity of the challenges.
We were all faced with a similar issue that affected each of us differently. The whole world was together experiencing drastic shifts in our ways of life.
So we did our best to adapt. Some of us took new jobs we didn't intend, some of us lost jobs we loved. We made difficult decisions, we pushed ourselves to new limits, we had hard conversations, we put others first, we put ourselves first, we spent more time with ourselves, we saw our family and friends less in person and sought new ways to connect. Plans changed, plans evolved.
Nothing was quite what we thought it was going to be.
Everything was amplified. The sorrows were harder, and yet the joys were also greater.
So what do we do with all that we experienced?
We reflect.
Why reflect?
Because it's a great way to make sense of the experiences we had and emotions we felt. We can look at things from a new perspective, a perspective that is more of a witness than one who is experiencing it in the moment. With this different vantage point, it becomes easier for us to gain clarity. To discover the lessons we learned. We can see the situation for what it is, and remove intense emotions that may have clouded our judgements previously.
What do we do after reflecting?
We set intentions.
Why set intentions?
Because it helps us redirect our sails. When we can look at where we have gone and take with it all we have learned, this helps us decide what path to take moving forward. Maybe we learned something about ourselves, perhaps a new routine, hobby, or preference. We then take that knowledge and apply it moving forward. How can we incorporate more of whatever it is? How can we invest more time in this new discovery? Or perhaps we've learned to let go of something we held onto for years. What will take its place?
Setting intentions helps us do more of the things we like and less of what we don't.
It pushes us to be intentional with how we spend our time and energy.
We can focus on what serves us and allow ourselves to release what does not.
A Preview Of The Questions
2020 Reflection Questions
Where did you feel abundance?
What did you do for the first time?
What did you love and/or appreciate about 2020?
2021 Intention Questions
Where can you incorporate more balance?
What connection(s) do you wish to strengthen?
What do you wish to create?
Below I lead you through why each question is valuable to your growth this year, and ideas to get you thinking about each one.
This is deep work that takes time. But this work is incredibly rewarding.
When I sit down with myself at the beginning of each year, I typically spend at minimum an hour and a half to two hours journaling.
My ultimate favorite is to go to a cafe and have a little date with myself, fully equipped with a specialty coffee and a delicious dessert. It's a special occasion! But these days there isn't much for indoor dining, so at home will do just fine for this year.
This all may feel intimidating, or that you don't believe you could possibly allot yourself that much time. But recognize how worthy you are. Accept that there is no better person to spend time on than yourself.
A better you makes for a better friend, employee, spouse, parent, daughter/son, and so forth. The ripple extends itself into every category of your life. And your first step is to start with setting aside some time for yourself.
Just imagine the clarity and inspiration you will feel after diving into these questions.
You are worth it. Invest in yourself.
Before We Start
I first want to stress the importance of setting up your atmosphere. Both the atmosphere of your environment and the atmosphere of your mind.
Prepare the atmosphere of your environment. If your room is messy, dirty, disorganized, this will create a messy, dirty, disorganized mind. There is a lot of research that points to the strong correlation between our environment and how we feel mentally.
So arrange your space. Spice up the room you'll be working in. Light some candles, place a plant or some flowers next to you, hang string lights, grab a warm cup of tea/lemon water, get that pen you love writing with, turn on some background music, absolutely anything that makes you happy. We all enjoy different things in our environment that helps us focus.
Next, prepare the atmosphere of your mind. If your mind is full of to-dos and worries and stress about yesterday and tomorrow, you will not receive a good result. You cannot immediately jump into something like this after just getting home from work. We must calm the mind and prepare it for the task at hand.
Take 5-10 minutes to center yourself and relax. Do a brief meditation, take a walk down the street, sing & dance to a favorite song, catch up with a friend, or anything that relaxes you. This will help make space in our minds to do the work we wish.
Okay NOW you're ready to start :)
Part One: Reflection
As I mentioned before, reflection is a helpful way for us to make sense of things.
In my relationship, anytime my partner and I have conflict we always dedicate time (after cooling down and re centering ourselves) to reflect on what happened, what we learned, and what we can do better next time. Our relationship deepens each time.
So I am essentially asking you to do just that with 2020 & 2021. Consider what happened, what you learned, and how to best move forward in the new year.
An important aspect of this step is that you make a commitment to yourself to show up for this in a nonjudgmental way.
This activity is not a time to berate ourselves wishing we acted differently. And it's also not a time to feel a longing for things to have played out differently. We are witnessing our year. We are an observer to the events that took place.
Promise yourself now that you will be open minded. There may be moments that come up where you are tempted to judge, and that's okay. Remind yourself to witness and observe.
I have kept each list to 3 questions. They will offer all that you need, without feeling too overwhelmed.
1. Where Did You Feel Abundance?
Think about where you felt like you "had it going on" or where you felt like life was flowing easily for you.
Where did you rock it?
You can choose a general response, or dive into various categories of your life. It just depends on how in depth you'd like to go.
Think personal abundance (emotional, physical, spiritual health), social abundance (quality of connections, communications with others), career abundance (job satisfaction, financial satisfaction), and play (hobbies, how you enjoy your free time).
You don't need to go into each of these categories (but you can), they are here to get you thinking.
Some examples might be:
I had physical abundance, I started a new workout routine that I did every morning.
I had social abundance, I released relationships that no longer served me and kept in touch with the people that mattered most.
I had career abundance, I explored a new opportunity and it led me to blessings of financial support and job satisfaction.
I had emotional abundance, I practiced calming my mind often and noticed myself become a more flexible person.
There are no rules to this.
Write one response, or write three. Be straightforward in your response, or be detailed in your response. Whatever is flowing from you is the right way.
If nothing is coming to mind, try to reflect on times you felt ease. Moments you felt pure bliss. Moments you enjoyed. Times when you were surprised at how much you were enjoying them.
Be patient and allow yourself time to brainstorm. We are reflecting on 365 days, it may take a few moments to remember. Or our answer might immediately pop into our awareness. Either is great, there is no one way to do this.
Acknowledge the abundance that was evident in your life.
2. What Did You Do For The First Time?
I love this question. I love that even as adults we are still learners. When we learn, we grow. We evolve into even better versions of ourselves. We make advancements in our personalities, beliefs & perspectives, values, ways of living, and so much more.
Trying new things always opens the door to evolvement.
So what did you try for the first time? What did you learn from it?
Think back to the previous life categories if you need some ideas to get going.
What emotions did you experience leading up to the activity, during, and after the activity?
How did you cope? What helped you through any difficult emotions?
For me, I worked as a videographer with my partner at weddings. I felt nervous and vulnerable, but excited and eager to improve my skills. I learned that sometimes I have a negative voice in my head that berates me when I make mistakes, labeling them as failures or doing something wrong. But with repetitive practice of going back and changing this conversation to one of more compassion for myself, I have become more gentle with myself. All thanks to this new opportunity!
Reflect on time you spent outside of your comfort zone. How did you handle trying this new thing for the first time? Were you kind to yourself?
Think of an example (or two). Write down what it was, and reflect on some of the questions to learn more about how you handled it.
Discover & acknowledge this something new about yourself.
3. What Did You Love And/Or Appreciate About 2020?
This might be a tougher question. We may have some difficulties and challenges to sift through to find the good stuff.
But it's there. And boy does that good stuff shine when we find it.
Be strong.
Be resilient.
If you are reading this, then you persevered through 2020. You did it.
For me, I appreciated rescheduling our 2020 wedding. Now, this doesn't mean I didn't want to get married! It meant that having our focus shift away from the wedding allowed for other blessings to surface. Blessings like having a baby (April 2021!) and buying a school bus to convert to a tiny home. Both dreams that we highly valued. I appreciated that I wasn't able to travel, because it allowed us to save for our tiny home build. I appreciated the solitude, as it allowed for a slower and more relaxed pace in my life.
Find the good in 2020. Acknowledge the blessings. Like I mentioned, sometimes they are hidden. But never impossible to find.
Part Two: Intention
These past three questions have prepared you for this final step. They have put you in a mindset of appreciation and gratitude for both yourself and the experiences you had during the year. By starting with this type of energy, it will permeate into all that we do next.
Setting our sights for 2021 is important.
Why?
Because if we don't, we may sail to places that we aren't excited about or didn't plan on.
Have you ever been in the middle of something, and all of a sudden you realize you were doing the task much longer than you planned? You fell into a trance, most likely out of distraction.
The same goes for life. Sometimes when we are distracted, we spend more time on things we didn't intend or visit places we didn't intend.
An example might be setting an intention to engage with the people that matter most to you, and releasing contact of those that don't align with your beliefs and values. If this was something that was important to you and you didn't make a conscious effort to put it top of mind, when life becomes busy the distraction sets in and you may fall into old patterns.
So let's set our sights on the things that matter most to us.
1. Where Can You Incorporate More Balance?
Where in your life did you feel off balance?
How do you desire it to look moving forward?
Spend some time describing in detail how you would bring more balance to this area of your life.
The more specific the better. It's important you're able to clearly see this desire in your minds eye. The more you believe in this desire and its ability to be yours, the more easily you make it yours.
If you deeply believe you are undeserving of something, that something will never make its way to you. You must fully believe you are WORTHY. By simply being here on this planet, you are worthy. There is nothing you need to do, prove, or change to deem yourself worthy.
So think of what felt off balance to you.
What did you crave more or less of?
Use the categories from earlier if you need ideas.
Think personal (emotional, physical, spiritual health), social (quality of connections, communications with others), career (job satisfaction, financial satisfaction), and play (hobbies, how you enjoy your free time).
Maybe you felt like you didn't have much time to focus on your nutrition. Set the intention to spend a few minutes each week researching healthy recipes and cooking. Or sign up for a meal prep service.
For me, I craved more time stretching and focusing on my flexibility. I did spend 30 minutes most mornings doing yoga, but I know my body craved more of it. So for 2021 I plan to continue practicing 30 minutes in the morning and add 30 minutes in the evening.
Discover the imbalance. Create the intention.
2. What Connection(s) Do You Wish To Strengthen?
Do you feel apart of something bigger than yourself?
Human beings are social beings. We crave the endorphins released when spending time with the people we feel a sense of belonging with.
2020 made it more challenging to see our friends and family. Social distancing made it more difficult to satisfy the physical touch we crave and need from those we love and appreciate.
But there is no one way to connect with those we love. I've heard of people participating in weekly zoom dates, game nights, drive bys, and keeping chalk in their car to draw notes in their grandmothers driveway.
As humans, we are adaptable. When we know what's important to us, we find a way to make it happen.
So think of what social connection you'd like to strengthen. It might be one person in particular, it might be a couple people, it could be a group/community of people.
Who is it, and how will you connect deeper or more frequently with them?
Be creative. Resist the urge to allow road blocks to stop you from this connection that is important to you.
Our social health is tightly intertwined with our overall health. If social connectedness lacks in our life, it can manifest as some type of physical or mental ailment.
Give the gift of health to your 2021.
3. What Do You Wish To Create?
You hold the power to make your wildest dreams come true. Are you using it to your advantage?
What dream(s) do you have? What have you always wanted to do? To see? Experience? Create? Change? Implement?
This is your year.
2020 reminded us of the impermanence of life. That we are not invincible. Instead, we are human and no time is ever guaranteed here.
So why do we put off the things we crave most? Why do we think we must have all our ducks in a row before taking any action towards our desires? Or that we are undeserving of our desires?
Not anymore. 2021 is the year to let go of these limiting beliefs. 2021 is the year to stop holding back from living fully and deeply.
So what is it? What dream(s) have you always craved? What will be your first step towards allowing it to come to fruition? How will you keep yourself accountable?
This is the perfect year to carry out this amazing opportunity you crave.
It's time to live your dreams.
Wake up to your power and believe in yourself.
Conclusion
There you have it, 6 kick ass questions to start your year off right.
By beginning 2021 in this way, you are embracing your power. You are embodying all the goodness of gratitude for this past year, and harnessing your desires for this coming year.
These questions ask you to dig deep. Allow yourself the time it takes to fully digest and think about each question. They are here for you to grow. They are here to support you in your evolution.
It might be a lot to sit down and do all the questions at once. Try dedicating 15-30 minutes at a time for each one. Then go about your day, and come back later, or even the next day. Perhaps it will feel better to break it up and have some rest in between.
It might also all pour out of you very effortlessly. You may find your fingers and hand sore from trying to keep up with the thoughts and ideas flowing out of you.
Neither is right or wrong, it's whatever feels good for you.
To review,
2020 Reflection Questions
Where did you feel abundance?
What did you do for the first time?
What did you love and/or appreciate about 2020?
2021 Intention Questions
Where can you incorporate more balance?
What connection(s) do you wish to strengthen?
What do you wish to create?
I hope you enjoy the peace, direction, and value these questions provide.
All my love,
Kayla.
Comments