It can be easy to fall into the same ole routine. And it can be easy to let our relationship fall to the wayside.
Our everyday lives demand much of our attention.
We spend our best efforts trying to squeeze in as much as possible in each 24 hours.
Sometimes we have deadlines to meet, and things like maintaining/enjoying our relationship may fall to the end of the list. Or the dishes are taking up the entire sink & the house hasn't been vacuumed all week. Our partner can wait, right? They will understand, right?
On occasion, yes I am sure they are more than understanding. But the hope is that this doesn't happen frequently. The hope is that you prioritize your partner as much as everything else in your life.
Where we place our intentions and energy is where we see results.
If we water a plant, it will grow. If we abandon the plant and do not give it water, the plant will wither. The same goes for our relationships. We must water them, for they can only thrive when they are lovingly cared for.
So if the plant is to our relationship, then water is to what?
Water is to love. Water is to quality time. It is expressing gratitude and love everyday to our partner. It is turning off distractions and listening with our full undivided attention. It is patience and flexibility when our partner is feeling tired or stressed. And it is so much more.
Below are 7 ideas to kick start you into a closer relationship with your parter. Spend each day implementing the suggested activity. If the activity seems out of your norm, then great! This means there's lots of room for new experiences to grow and evolve. And who better to do this with than your partner?
Besides, it's truly not so much about what specific activity you are doing, it's about intentionally spending time together.
Below I offer more tips in detail about each day's challenge, enjoy!
Day 1: Hide a Love Note
Some of my favorite places to hide love notes are in my partner's lunch box, on their desk, in the car, or even in their jacket pocket. Think of objects/places your partner uses/visits daily. The more unexpected the better. How about in the bathroom drawer with his shaving stuff? Or in the cabinet folded inside her favorite coffee mug? Be creative with the location.
As far as what to write, do what feels good for you. You can write a quick little compliment on a post it, or you can write something a bit more detailed on a bigger sheet of paper and fold it up football style.
Mention what you adore most about them, or write about one of your favorite memories of them (how about the first time you saw them?), something they do that you appreciate (do they cook for you? Clean the house? Remind you when it's your mother's birthday?) or just doodle a stick figure picture of the two of you together holding hands surrounded by hearts and smiley faces.
Day 2: Pamper Your Partner
I would say many of us, due to the culture we live in, complain about neck, shoulder, and/or back pain. We sit at a computer, or we are on our feet all day long. We answer the phone for 8 hours, or we lift heavy equipment for 8 hours. Either way, our bodies are tired! And how amazing does it feel to have someone give a little love to those spots that are sore?
Atmosphere matters.
Dim/turn off the lights, put on some relaxing music (I typically search for "spa music" on YouTube or Spotify), light a candle, get the essential oil diffusor going, and anything else you like that relaxes you. Grab your favorite massage oil, I'm a big fan of just using coconut oil, and lather your partner up!
Be sure to ask them what feels good. Check in on the pressure you are using, and check in on the spots you are working. Make the experience exactly how your partner wishes. Feedback is sooo helpful during a massage! And it also helps improve your communication with one another.
Day 3: "What Was Good About Today?"
I just love this question. I appreciate the focus on the positive.
Often it is much easier to complain. To talk about the traffic we got stuck in, the chatty employee who bothered us all day, and all the other little things that felt like were "wrong" about our day.
But who does this make feel good? Not the person speaking because they are reliving this uncomfortable experience, and not the person listening because they too can feel the low energy.
So both try to recall what was good about your day and share it with each other. Be sure to set aside all distractions and fully allow each other to express their gratitude for the day. Maybe sit outside together, lay on the bed together, whatever spot you two feel calm. Pour a drink, have a snack, set the intention to just be with your partner discussing the good from each of your days.
After all, being grateful attracts more things to be grateful for.
Day 4: Write a Poem
The more we act like kids as adults, I think the more fun life becomes. Who says we have to be so serious? Sure we have more responsibilities than we did as children, but that doesn't mean we can't have any fun.
Remember in elementary school when you were learning to write and you would write a word vertically and make a poem/short story out of it? That's exactly what we are doing here with our partners name.
Now if they have a short name, maybe include their last name too. You could also change it to whatever nickname you have for them. The object is, write their name on a piece of paper vertically, and use each letter as the start of your piece of artwork for them.
It might end up being a short list of qualities they have. Be playful & be fun!
Sexy
Understanding
Snores loudly
Always on time
Never makes the bed
Or it could be more of a story...
Sometimes when I wake up next to you
Under our warm fluffy covers
Scenes of old memories play in my head
And I realize
Now I should kiss you
Okay so I am no poet. But you get the idea. And honestly sometimes the weirder the better because it makes for a good laugh.
Day 5: Go For a Morning or Evening Walk ... OUTSIDE!
I especially love this activity because not only is it benefiting your relationship by spending time together, but it also benefits you individually since fresh air and movement are incredibly cleansing.
Find a spot to walk as close to nature as you can. Trees, birds, water, plants, dirt, they are all super grounding. Nature can help us slow down and take a break from living so fast. Simply admiring the trees swaying, or watching a bird fly across the water, have the potential to soothe our energy.
So go for a walk together. Hold your partner's hand. Give them a piggy back ride. Throw a snowball at him. Pick her a flower. Simply enjoy your time together and embrace full presence. Make it a goal to only talk about the things you are seeing or hearing in that exact moment. Resist talking about work or weekly to dos.
Just be present.
Day 6: Make Dinner Together
Making food together can be such a fun experience. Especially when it's an exciting dish like DIY pizza!
Search online (Pinterest - duh!) for your favorite dish and decide to make it homemade. My partner LOVES chicken broccoli alfredo, so on special occasions we like to make it from scratch.
Remember, this is not a cooking competition where you are hoping to win the grand prize of 1 million dollars. You are here to enjoy your time with your partner, so act as though that is the case. If the dish comes out yucky, or your partner accidentally puts in too much salt, come back to the mindset that you are here to spend time with them.
This is a great opportunity to work together on a common goal. It's essentially a team building exercise.
Anyways, if the dish ends up being a fail then you call for take out. No hard feelings.
Day 7: Express Gratitude
Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude.
This seems to be the buzz word lately.
And it's for a damn good reason! More and more research points to the more gratitude one has, the happier and healthier they are. When we express gratitude our entire being, all the way down to our teeny-tiny cells, radiates with that beautiful energy.
And on the flip side, when we express gratitude to someone we love, how amazing do you think they feel? I think I can speak for all of us when I say it feels good to be appreciated.
So pick 5 things you are grateful for about your partner. Let it flow naturally from your heart.
When you are both finished, keep your list of gratitude. Take turns reading one item at a time that you are grateful for. It will be special for the receiving person to hear the thanks expressed in their partners voice.
A note about tears.
Someone said to me once in response to me apologizing for crying, "crying shows your authenticity."
It was one of my favorite responses, and it has always stayed close with me. So if you start to choke up a little please remember that it's totally okay to cry, it shows your authenticity.
Conclusion
So there you have it, 7 days filled with loving activities that will bring you closer with your partner.
Remember, where we place our intentions and energy is where we see results.
So when you place your intentions and energy on your relationship with your partner, that is where you see results!
Have fun with this :)
With Gratitude,
Kayla
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