In our culture, we live fast.
We have many things to do, with what feels like little time to do them.
We rush from one thing to the next, often not even thinking about the actual task at hand.
Our minds are busy planning the next thing, and thinking about how we could have done the last one better.
While it may feel satisfying to "get things done," does this mindset truly nurture our souls? Meaning, does it bring us joy? Do we feel like our life has purpose? That we are living intentionally?
Does rushing through the day to check off each item on our to do list offer a feeling of deep fulfillment? Do you know what your desires are? What truly matters to you?
Heres the truth, you will always have a to do list. The to do list lives on even after you pass away.
I am not saying to throw our responsibilities out the window. Bills do need to be paid, our homes should certainly be taken care of, and we definitely need to shop for groceries. But what I am saying is 1). Are we leaving enough time to do the things we truly enjoy? And 2). Are we present in the task at hand?
The other day I was telling Pat, my partner, how much I love simply laying down and watching our little peanut wiggle and kick in my pregnant belly. It is the most relaxing thing I do with my time. I lay down somewhere comfortable, put my hands on my belly, take a deep breath, and wait & watch. There is nothing else on my mind but seeing and feeling our little one move in my belly.
Each movement from our baby happens so quickly that I have to be fully present or I might miss it. It made me think, what if I were to apply this mindset to everything I did?
What if I acknowledged that each experience in life, if I'm not fully present, I might miss something magical?
Later that day I went for a walk. A lot of times I will compile a mental list of things I need to do during my walks. (Me and my busy mind...)
I revisited the concept I thought of earlier that day, "how can I treat every moment like I do when watching baby kick in my belly? How can I bring intense presence to what I am currently experiencing (a walk in nature) so that I don't miss out on anything magical?"
So that's what I did. I put my mental to do list on hold. Instead I observed the trees as they swayed left to right, I felt the cool wind on my face, and listened to the snow crunching loudly beneath my feet. Because of this relaxation and presence, the most beautiful insights came into my awareness.
When our minds are busy, we are distracted from what is occurring in front of us. We might miss the subtle shifts in energy from our children when they talk about someone from school, we might overlook how important a certain conversation was to our partner, or we might totally miss the brilliant idea that was trying to make itself known to us.
All because we weren't living in the present moment. The chatter in our minds can be so chaotic and loud that it drags us away from our current experience.
So what can we do? How can we slow down and become more present?
We can:
Release fear about the future
Let go of what no longer serves us
Prioritize our values
Being present holds immense value for us. It sharpens the clarity of the moment in front of us. It allows us to fully fall into each experience and explore the wonderful gifts that are always available if we choose to acknowledge them.
Below I take you deeper into each concept. I hope you enjoy these tips, and please feel free to comment with techniques you use yourself that help you become more present!
Before We Dive In
I would like to first mention the importance of setting the intention to be more present.
Bring this awareness top of mind.
For example, if you were doing a sugar detox you would have the intention to avoid all processed sugars. Each time you choose a food to eat, the reminder would pop into your head of "avoid processed sugars!" Your intention guides each decision and action.
The same goes for setting the intention to be more present. Within each moment, the hope is to catch yourself if you're veering off track. It is your North Star. When you are unsure of how to move forward, you remember your intention.
We must declare this focus so we have a clear understanding of how we wish to experience life. Something like,
"I am present." or
"I am becoming more present."
Try it on, see how it feels :)
Strategy Number 1: Release Fear
Fear robs us of the present moment.
It brings us to the future, a place that has not occurred yet. We start painting a picture of how we anticipate things to play out. Many times we envision the worst possible outcome.
They say depression is lingering in the past and wishing it different, and anxiety is lingering in the future worrying how things will work out. Both transport you somewhere other than right now.
So how do we release fear?
We pause, breathe, and tune into our senses.
Someone once told me about a stress reduction exercise called the "5, 4, 3, 2, 1 technique." The idea is that if you are feeling anxious or fearful about something, tuning into your senses helps the body & mind relax.
To start, you take note of 5 things you currently see, then 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste.
Going through this process requires your mind to think about the things that are happening in the NOW. The mind shifts from concerning itself with worries about the future, and returns to what is being experienced in the present moment.
A relaxed mind and body, makes for a present mind and body.
I realize I have used the words stress, anxiety, and fear throughout this section. The fact is they all essentially come from the same root, which is fear.
If we are stressed, we can dig to the bottom of it and find some type of fear manifesting from the stress. Same goes for anxiety and really any type of lower vibration.
Now this is just one example of a stress reduction technique. There are numerous different strategies, so choose the one that works for you. Whichever you choose, the goal is to shift the mind from thinking about the future, and return to what is happening in the now.
Most, if not all of the scenarios we make up in our minds never end up coming to fruition.
Why torcher ourselves in this way?
So pause, take a breath, and welcome your mind to the experience happening in front of you. Release the temptation to skip ahead and draw out how fear thinks things will happen.
Life offers us so much beauty if we just allow ourselves to open up to it.
Strategy Number 2: Let Go
Release that which does not serve you.
It could be a painful memory, a limiting belief about yourself or the world, resentment/judgement towards a person or situation, or a particular relationship with someone.
You know what it is.
This release allows the mind to no longer linger on something unhelpful. It encourages healing. It offers peace and relaxation.
Don't you desire to feel that lightness?
When we grip to things that are unhelpful, they tend to show up constantly. This is life's way of gently asking us to look closer at this particular part of our life and consciously heal from it.
Healing takes time. It doesn't always happen immediately or overnight. But it does need to start now.
Let's look at an example.
Perhaps you have a limiting belief that people are "always out to get you." Therefore in almost every situation, whether with your partner, child, friends, or even strangers you see evidence of just that. You see everyone as against you, whether it's the truth or not.
You find what you look for.
This means you can't experience life as it is. It means you show up to each moment with a skewed lens.
Kind gestures are mistaken as malicious attacks.
Honest accidents are mistaken as intentional shots fired.
This hurts all who are involved. It hurts you, the other person, and the quality of your relationship.
When you choose to release this limiting belief, you are granting yourself to experience life as it is truly happening. You are able to welcome its raw beauty. To accept the gifts that are always ready and waiting in every moment.
So think to yourself, what have you been holding on to for too long? Deep down, or even consciously, you know it does not serve you. But for whatever reason something has been stopping you from releasing it.
Accept it is time.
It's no coincidence you are reading these words. These words are for you. They have found their way to you to ask for this specific change in your life.
With the release, life will feel more vibrant. Move this unhelpful baggage out of your way. Give the gift of presence to yourself.
If the windshield of your car was dirty and blocking your view, you would clean it right? Clean the windshield of your soul, of your mind, and witness the clear view of the world.
Strategy Number 3: Prioritize Your Values
Become clear on the things that matter most to you.
For me I find that I think a clean floor is top of the list. But if I were to actually sit down and truly ponder what matters most to me it would be more like taking the time to work on my writing or connecting deeply with a friend/family member.
Things can so easily sneak their way into our precious time. I may sit down in front of my laptop to write, but then I see a pile of dirt on the floor. And that pile leads me to vacuuming, to then starting a load of laundry, to maybe doing some dishes, and then before I know it I've spent my day cleaning.
Then comes a feeling of frustration because I know I don't actually want to be spending so much time on cleaning and so little time on writing. Writing is an activity that fills my cup. My mind is easily distracted by all the many things happening around me.
So what could help me?
Prioritizing my values. Keeping top of mind the things I want to spend my time on. So when something comes up, I can revisit my mental list and easily, and consciously, decide on what to do.
With so much going on in our lives we can become over stimulated. This can lead to a feeling of burnout.
Do not fall into the trap that you are supposed to "do it all." This will only bind you to the grip of watered down experiences. Multitasking isn't actually the gold metal that our culture likes to think it is.
Empty your closet of the items that no longer fit you. They are only taking up space.
This is in reference to your mind, to the things in life you make time for. Are all these things serving you? Are they in alignment with your values? Did you choose them to be there, or did they appear without your consent?
Let go of the idea that you are supposed to juggle everything all at once. This is restricting you from the present moment. It is causing you to live in a rushed state of emergency. Choose the most important. Focus on these.
How will this offer more presence?
When we choose a few of the many things we could focus on it allows our minds to be content, not overflowing with stimulation. With a reasonable amount of priorities we are better able to manage our thoughts. The background noise has vanished.
Imagine this. Are there 35 kids at the birthday party? Or are there just 10 of the birthday girls best friends? See the difference? Our minds don't need the entire class, just a select few will do for the most meaningful time.
So what are your non negotiables? What will you prioritize your time and attention to? What things can you leave by the wayside?
Be purposeful. Make the most out of each moment.
In Conclusion
I hope these perspectives and questions have provoked some purposeful thought for you.
Change does not have to look like flipping your way of life upside down. It can look like incorporating new little things here and there. Even if you can take just one thing away from this post, it has the potential to significantly influence your life for the better.
What is the one thing?
It could be a question to reflect on such as, "what past pain/judgements of myself could I let go of?"
It could be an intention such as, "spending time on my hobby is my top priority, next to connecting deeply with my partner, and lastly is having a dirt free floor."
Or it could be to breathe and relax much more often, in turn creating an experience happening in the now as opposed to your mind wandering to the future.
Each of these various takeaways brings you closer to the moment happening right NOW. The present moment. You deserve to feel that richness.
To review, 3 ways in which we can become more present are to:
Release fear about the future
Let go of what no longer serves us
Prioritize our values
I suppose I have my little one to thank for this post, who is still in utero. They have taught me that if I slow down and calm my mind of the relentless chatter & planning, I can have a much fuller experience of life. I can make my moments more colorful and meaningful, by simply paying attention to one thing at a time.
Thank you for being here.
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